Woolly Humorist Gifts

Shear Poetry

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

Brad Pitt.

Jennifer Lawrence

"You're not just a number here. You're a number who hasn't been fired yet."

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"Hey, I'm a big fan of your work. I loved you in Godzilla!"

Bob tries to cash in on Hollywood's success.

Ben Stiller

Hollywood in tiny glimpses

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

'Yeah, they're neat tattoos, but they're only visible at shearing time each year...'

"We quickly realized it was fruitless trying to compete, so now we work together and sell blended wool..."

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

Steak Lovers.

'Every year I say, 'Just a little of the top' but they never listen.'

Now playing: 'The passion of big box office profits'.

'Thanks to Obama the Nobel Prize has lost much of its prestige. This is the third time I got one in my surprise meal this week.'

'Don't worry! They're vegetarian!'

"Lately I've had uncontrollable cravings for venison.

Sheep Fishing

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

Ostrich has head in sand to watch TV set

"It's raw, unprocessed wool."

Bruce tries-out the new Australian remote control!

Kevin Bacon

Olivia Wilde

Woman Sheep Knitting from her Husband.

'Do you have an agent?'

'You may be a werewolf but we prefer computer generated special effects. It looks much more real.'

I shaved my head before clipping season so the sheep feel we're in this together. Shear and shear alike!

'At $87,000, I'd say this comes from the artist's I'm-milking-this-for-all-I-can Period.'