Owlish Humorist Gifts

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Football Chameleon

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"The Eggsorcist"

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

F&E Stables. Horses Boarded. The owner of this horse is a huge fan of the late musician, "Prince." That explains the purple reins.

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

History of Cartooning.

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"All this online learning sort of makes you miss the head lice days, huh?"

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

Physicists disputing whether the clock moves backwards or forwards according to season change.