Wooden Wonders Gifts

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

Rocking horse

Four children playing the flute.

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

"I don't think you can call two ants a 'bug safari'."

Whittler's Mother.

Man building a tree house

'We do like the children to have wooden toys.'

Sportknitting

'Just measuring you for the breakfast nook.'

"This home doesn't have a good view, but it comes with smart windows that change the view to something beautiful."

Little known trivia: Fred Astaire began tap dancing when he had loose floor boards, but no hammer.

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

Raffia Mafia - "Vinny, there's some nice baskets comin' in through Queens."

"Great, just great! School photos are tomorrow..."

"I've got a splitting headache."

Angel with wings standing next to bird with arms.

A Cat is Kicked Out of A Yarn Shop.

'Well, lets hope he gets into something soon Mary because lets face it, he'll never make a carpenter.'

Clay pigeon shooting

'Can you call back? He's busy right now.'

"Your project today is to find an internet video of someone building a chair."

'Sorry Dad, but my true passion is for making furnitures, not dams...'

Young Picasso In Woodshop

Doctor to Pinocchio: 'It's worse than we thought. You've got termites.'

Well, Pegasus had better PR!

"I think we can relax, they're not lumberjacks after all: They're hipsters..."

"Remember, measure twice, cut once, stand baffled, string together obscenities."

"That was one GREAT salesman!"

"I see you, Jake--but does anyone have a question that's not about carpentry?"

'It says here that the deer in this area are so used to hunters, they are known to set traps. Seeing is believing.'

That's funny, I always thought they were trumpeters. (Published originally on April 29, 2011.)

'Pinocchio, under the 'would like to meet' section you've put 'fun-loving brunette made of oak'. This may prove difficult.'

I'm ticketing you for DIY.

You failed woodshop?? How am I gonna show my face at the Union Hall? We are Carpenter Ants, after all!