Wolfish Wit Admirer Pillows

'Just because you happen to turn into a wolf during a full moon, dear, doesn't mean you have to act like one!'

The Fourth Little Pig

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

"I love this time of year."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

My, grandma, what a big premium you have for a plan that doesn't cover getting eaten by a wolf.

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."

Red riding hood giving the wolf a complex

"I hate hibernating! All our devices need updating. And now we need to go through a thousand phone and text messages."

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

G.K. Chesterton.

Wolf snacks vending machine: 3 Little Pigs, Little Red Riding Hood, Goldilocks.

"It's time to name the new warrior, any suggestions?"

"What keeps me going? The tightening feeling in my chest that if I stop, I'll die."

Romulus and Remus

'Wow! This style of writing went out back in the seventies!'

"You have to admire their ingenuity at least -- They're burying their apple cores."

Adoption centre nurse accepting a bribe from a pack of wolves

'I'm a little worried about the dedication to His Satanic Majesty, Bishop.'

"Frankly, the idea of "Mating for Life" is quite daunting to somebody like me who has a fear of commitment..."

"I don't know this one."

Damnation without relief means there is no Ladies Room.

'Brush with Calgote' Hmmm...

Penny for your lack of thoughts.

"Gee, I just love the British dry sense of humor!"

Wolf in bed.

'Sorry, I'm colour-blind: Is she wearing a Red Riding-Hood?'

"You can try all you want, but being smooth is just something you're born with."

It's a letter from Romulus and Remus thanking me for feeding them...Now, isn't that sweet...

If you think I've been witty and charming so far, wait until you see the word balloons I have back at my house.