Woke Warriors Pillows

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

"It's true: no more burpees."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

Zumbie: Zumba for zombies.

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

"It had to go - there were historical links with slavery."

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

'Say, aren't those the same weeds that came up last year?'

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

'Keep fit.'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

Woke and wonderful

'That's our group plan.'

'C'Mon ladies, work that bovine!'

"Makes you feel kind of proud, doesn't it?"

"Dang it."

"That's not the motivational reward I had in mind."

Muscular Santa

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

Elevator is now equipped with stairclimber exercise machine.

"Smacked down by reality in 24 seconds."

"This alarm clock is guaranteed to wake you. It's sounds like a husband snoring."

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"