Wit Master Pillows

"I'm a captain of industry"

Wordplay: Export.

Seat Belt

Note Book

The Chips Are Down

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Snowprov

Backfire

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Doggone

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Czarcasm

Miss America IQ Pageant

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

Punch Drunk

"There are exceptions. Sometimes it's possible to have buzz without any hype whatsoever."

Paper Boy

Airport

K9 Literati.

'I don't do 'Goodbyes' ...'