Wit Master T-Shirts

"I'm a captain of industry"

Wordplay: Export.

Seat Belt

Note Book

The Chips Are Down

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Backfire

Snowprov

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Doggone

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Wordplay: In The Bag.

Czarcasm

Miss America IQ Pageant

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

Paper Boy

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

Graph to find your IQ

"There are exceptions. Sometimes it's possible to have buzz without any hype whatsoever."

'I don't do 'Goodbyes' ...'

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

'He never listened to his mother!'

Airport