Wit Lovers Pillows

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Cat Burglar

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

Generic Store: Sign in Window

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

Loopholes

Voltaire

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

Stephen Fry.

Counsel's Opinion.

'Psychoanalysis is passé. I suggest we ask for asylum in France.'

"You make a great point."

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

The People versus McGinley gets acrimonious.

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin Round Table