Wit Admirers Pillows

Corn Plaster

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Lesser known greek gods,

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Czarcasm

Cat Burglar

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

Generic Store: Sign in Window

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

Voltaire

Loopholes

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

"You should run for president."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

Stephen Fry.

Counsel's Opinion.

Oscar Wilde

"You make a great point."

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

Frank and Ernest's Cerebral Questions. Today's question is would an "elbowhead" be smarter or dumber than a "knucklehead"? (Published originally on October 12, 2015.)

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'