Wise Woman Gifts

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

Lost and Profound.

'Sometimes I think about getting away from all this and get a job as a cab driver in New York city...'

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

On Holiday

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

'There's no charge for the advice and wisdom, but I would eventually like those jumper cables returned!'

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

Guru in a maze.

Bad times for retirees.

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'

Bucket List Coffee Shop - "Where Seniors Get Big Ideas!"

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

"The main, unchangeable principal that I use in life is to be pragmatic."

Having a senior moment

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

"You're not old. You just have more leeway to scold strangers, and their kids, and feel good about it."

"The Meaning of Life is to take advantage of opportunities."

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"You must learn to fight temptation: the only businesses open at night tend to be bars and nightclubs..."