Wise Soul Gifts

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

New Geriatric Aid.

God measures success by the weight of a heart- not a wallet.

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'Sometimes I think about getting away from all this and get a job as a cab driver in New York city...'

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

Four years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ Show, our resident octogenarian asked listeners for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Dear Sadie, I was going to suggest you start a YouTube channel to share your advice with younger people. But YouTube just stabbed its content creators in the back. They stopped showing ads on videos discussing anything even remotely controversial. That's going to put so many important voices out of business. So I don't really have an

'Psychoanalysis is passé. I suggest we ask for asylum in France.'

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

Guru in a maze.

'Don't tell me we've been following the wrong light!'

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

Life is just four letters...

Jim was busy detoxing his negative thinking patterns.

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

Having a senior moment

I wonder if they can think...

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

'Why don't you take out the garbage sometime?'

Actually, I'm not really a guru...

Garbage is a collector's item.

'Hear no evil. See no evil. Do no evil'

"Don't bother complaining about anything to granddad...he'll just say 'these are the best days of your life!!!'"

"I tried shutting my mouth and opening my mind, but then I remembered it's better to give than to receive."

Past, Present, Future Thoughts

"Remember anything recently?"

When I was young I worked at being hip, now I hope my hip keeps working.