Wise Soul Seeker Gifts

When I was young I worked at being hip, now I hope my hip keeps working.

"Good game."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"Feel free to take notes."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

Zenemies.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Needs to get a life"

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"