Wise Spender Gifts

'Much cheaper than charity shops!'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

Saving for College.

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

"Why do I need more allowance? Because if you cut me off at 21, these are my prime spending years!"

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"With this app, I can track my savings. It counts cash, categorizes cash, and calculates cash interest."

"If you don't bury 10% of your bones, you'll have nothing when you retire."

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

"Well, maybe money can't buy happiness, but I'm willing to try."

'Stocks took a dive when a top economist was overheard saying 'Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.''

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

'There's more to life than winning; there's also taking losses as tax write-offs, That's it?'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

Buy Low and Sell High Gurus

'In life I was scorned for worshipping the Almighty Dollar.'

80 Million Euros for a football player.

'I think we should put a limit on how much we spend on each other at Christmas, like two hundred and twenty thousand pounds.'

"I want to be cured of some very destructive buying habits."

The Price of The Stuff/How Much Stuff Is in The Store

'I do know the value of a dollar... that's why I've asked for five...'

Eat it while it's still £6.50.

Pension Advisor.

'You think cheese will motivate me? No. I want mutual funds.'