Wise Spender Gifts

'Much cheaper than charity shops!'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

Saving for College.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

"Why do I need more allowance? Because if you cut me off at 21, these are my prime spending years!"

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"With this app, I can track my savings. It counts cash, categorizes cash, and calculates cash interest."

"If you don't bury 10% of your bones, you'll have nothing when you retire."

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

'Stocks took a dive when a top economist was overheard saying 'Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.''

"Well, maybe money can't buy happiness, but I'm willing to try."

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

'There's more to life than winning; there's also taking losses as tax write-offs, That's it?'

The Price of The Stuff/How Much Stuff Is in The Store

Buy Low and Sell High Gurus

"I want to be cured of some very destructive buying habits."

80 Million Euros for a football player.

'In life I was scorned for worshipping the Almighty Dollar.'

Eat it while it's still £6.50.

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

'I think we should put a limit on how much we spend on each other at Christmas, like two hundred and twenty thousand pounds.'

'I do know the value of a dollar... that's why I've asked for five...'

Pension Advisor.

'You think cheese will motivate me? No. I want mutual funds.'

Spiralling inflation