Ethical Spender Gifts

'Oh, I could get by on my social security, if I lived under a bridge.'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

View to the Future

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Is it free-range?"

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'Rob is a vegan.'

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

Consumption Graph.

ONE MORNING WHILE GETTING DRESSED,

"Before I serve you dinner, it was in the chicken's last wishes that you watch his video will."

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?