Winter Weather Worrier Gifts

"I don't care if it is a matter of life and death, take the snowman out and put the food back in."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

I hate monday mornings.

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

"I hate this time of year."

Angry Squirrel Can't Get to the Bird Table.

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

'Don't drop that snow globe, they'll close the airport.'

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

'Strong wind from the west tonight.'

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

"Is it always so cloudy?"

I've invented "fire." It'll accelerate global warming and get us out of this ice age!

"The answer is space. I'm sending my kids to space."

"Global warming. Here it is December, and it feels like July."

"With rain in nearly every forecast, probably because of global warming, you know what's coming...so officially, we are now News & Sports at Six."

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."

How to save on your heating bill...

The Circle.

"That's the main problem with your rear wheel drive model!"

'Read that part again where it predicts a cold, snowy winter for the midwest...'

'Buddy, I'll get stinking rich... yesterday, I took out an insurance against pneumonia!'

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

"So you want to leave Germany when the Greens come to power. . . Will you take the yacht, the lear jet or should I get you a rubber dinghy?"

I fear I won't find happiness until hell freezes over, Dr. Kapuchnik. Don't forget to factor in global warming, Al.

"They have domed stadiums. Why not domed lakes?"

"It's nine degrees, but with the wind chill it feels like minus two hundred seventeen."

Cavemen shoveling out their woolly mammoths, in the same way that modern day drivers are forced to shovel out their cars.

Ice Sculpting Class.

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'