Winter Weather Worrier Pillows

"I don't care if it is a matter of life and death, take the snowman out and put the food back in."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

I hate monday mornings.

Angry Squirrel Can't Get to the Bird Table.

"I hate this time of year."

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

'Strong wind from the west tonight.'

"With rain in nearly every forecast, probably because of global warming, you know what's coming...so officially, we are now News & Sports at Six."

"Global warming. Here it is December, and it feels like July."

How to save on your heating bill...

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

"The answer is space. I'm sending my kids to space."

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"That's the main problem with your rear wheel drive model!"

The Circle.

'Read that part again where it predicts a cold, snowy winter for the midwest...'

"It's nine degrees, but with the wind chill it feels like minus two hundred seventeen."

"They have domed stadiums. Why not domed lakes?"

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

"So you want to leave Germany when the Greens come to power. . . Will you take the yacht, the lear jet or should I get you a rubber dinghy?"

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

Ice Sculpting Class.

Cavemen shoveling out their woolly mammoths, in the same way that modern day drivers are forced to shovel out their cars.

'Buddy, I'll get stinking rich... yesterday, I took out an insurance against pneumonia!'

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!