Winter Wear Humorist Gifts

Hot water ties.

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

Rude Snowpeople

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

'It's easy, just wee!'

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

"I love this time of year."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"Frosty the Repairman"

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

'It's a snow mobile.'

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

Weather today.

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."

"You have ice water in your veins."

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

"Oooo. That's cold."

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon