Winter Wear Humorist Gifts

Hot water ties.

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

Rude Snowpeople

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

'It's easy, just wee!'

"Frosty the Repairman"

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

"I love this time of year."

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

'It's a snow mobile.'

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

"I'll admit I've packed on a few extra pounds, but it's only water weight."

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

Weather today.

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

Well, technically, no, you don't have seasonal affective disorder.

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

"You have ice water in your veins."

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

"Oooo. That's cold."