Winter Jester Gifts

The wrong kind of snowman...

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"We're following Carrot Top."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"The trees are laughing at us."

Drunk Barber

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

"I hate open-mike night."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

Clown Wedding with Rake

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

Crow and fox

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Rex here, is just like one of the family.'

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."