Winter Hibernators Gifts

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

"You were right - at our age a heated mattress pad is the best aphrodisiac."

Hibernation channel

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

Canada's winter survival kit.

Buggy with Snowplow.

'You'll have to excuse Gerald - he suffers from Seasonal Affected Disorder' (Naked man in arm chair in living room)

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

"Can you remember the general shape of our car?"

"I downloaded a new app that puts me on a tropical island no matter where I'm at."

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"That's the worst case of Cabin Fever that I've ever seen. Luckily, spring is right around the corner."

"I'm sorry, sir, but Professor Dornley does not wish to be distracted for the duration of the winter."

It's January. Do you know where your children are?

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

"Business has picked up since we introduced short term cryogenic stays for the football off season."

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

The Off-Season

'Quit complaining. Isn't it nice to have the beach to ourselves?'

'Let's talk climate change.'

Snowman Magic

"Jeez, Honey, will you hurry up in there? I've been hibernating all winter, too, y'know!"

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

The Old Woman in the shoe questions her decision to spend her empty-nest years in a condo at a ski resort.'

"It's a deal. Help me find the acorns I buried and I'll help you find your bones."

Christmas is fun...but as soon as the holidays are over I'm heading down to Florida for the sun.

"Time to spring-clean where I spent the entire winter."

St Bernard Toilet Holder

I'D RATHER BE IN MIAMI, 'Oognik, I'd like to talk to you about your attitude...'

'Good! And now - by simply shifting your weight - begin to carve a wide, slow turn across the slope.'

"Hey, it's March, so it's safe to put the snow shovel away, right? Right?"