Wino Gifts

"I'm not ready for a relationship, maybe after I've finished this bottle of wine?"

"When we talked on the phone I never said that I was a non-drinking man! I said a one-drink man!"

Beer is made by men, wine by god.

In the Guru District

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

Yoga for Alcoholics

Bacchus.

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Sauvignon Bonk

'... And this is my cellar.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

French wine

Yoga vs. Prosecco

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"He gets easily abstracted."

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"I make it myself!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"