Wino Connoisseur Gifts

Joe's Bar - We sell no wine before it's opening time!

'A cheeky red?'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'No ice.'

Bacchus.

Join me in a Martini?

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'Man...You age great!'

"I make it myself!"

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

Redhead

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'Fried chickens.'

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

Yes. As a matter of fact he IS an indoor cat.

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

Next Round Indicator

Leo McKern

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'