Wino T-Shirts

"I'm not ready for a relationship, maybe after I've finished this bottle of wine?"

"When we talked on the phone I never said that I was a non-drinking man! I said a one-drink man!"

Beer is made by men, wine by god.

In the Guru District

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

Yoga for Alcoholics

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Sauvignon Bonk

Bacchus.

'... And this is my cellar.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

French wine

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"He gets easily abstracted."

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"I make it myself!"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"