Wardrobe Wino Gifts

'He says he drinks a lot so he won't be thirsty during the night.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"I don't care what job you want, Bagshaw, for God's sake dress for the job you have!"

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

How to read the dress code?

Wino Appreciation Group

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."

'Do not stand while the room is in motion.'

'I never said it was the comfy wear...I said it was the comfy look!'

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"Is there a seamstress present?"

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

Tomorrow's our first eco club meeting. Yeah, I'm nervous! There are so many big issues!

'Why can I never find my camouflage trousers?'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"I'm looking for a nice basic piece of clothing that can fulfill every need I have."

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."

Wearing all black

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

"I'm not wearing that - it screams first day of school."

"Is that my skirt?!!"

'The sequel to The Emperor Wore No Clothes.'

Jeans Styles

'zillions spent learning about weight loss... But no one has a clue about weight shift.'

"Don't get mad at me - you're the one who threw your robe in the dryer."