Winged Advocate Fan Gifts

"He decided to become a divorce lawyer!"

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

"I'm referring you to an old gypsy woman."

A man with a bird perched on his finger.

"Now why would a seagull fly in here and try to establish a rapport with me?"

Diabolical bureaucratic management

"The Devil's Advocate." Press Room. At last, Ernie, the first edition of our newspaper is ready to go! Did we cover all seven deadly sins? I think so ... We've got greed in the business section, sloth in the leisure section, gluttony in the restaurant reviews and lust in the movie reviews. How about envy and pride? Envy in the gossip column, pride in birth announcements. Okay, but how about wrath? Hey, the opinion section is full of it!

"This one is really unusual. We have to remove a horseshoe from a guy's naval."

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

'My good memory is a curse: There are things I would like to forget...'

Freak Accident Specialist

'You seem to be a stable person to me.'

"That is one incredibly fast and freaked-out squirrel."

"What the ... this is rootbeer."

'How do you know all these cats? I've never even met them.'

"Your entire body is riddled with chestnuts."

"I considered a rescue dog, but decided to take this refugee from Afghanistan."

Man turns into an angel.

Deer Crossing With Attitude

"Either wishbone done hit the mother lode or he been in thet durn mine too long."

'Are these billable hours?'

Cult films!

Sorry Jack, but I can't call the Firemen to get you down...

Man on desert island asks for a lighter rather than a rescue.

"McWit relies on that dog too much."

I told you not to pick the hummingbird wings.

"He's an old school angel."

'Do they make me look thinner?'

'Could we interest you in a sparing a donation for an endangered species?'

In a perfect world, bean counters would only count beans.

"You two don't need a marriage counselor. You need the UN Peacekeepers."

'...at last I'm saved!'

"I've been making sure the good outweighs the bad."

That rooster is always with him. Yeah, Superman never goes anywhere without his capon!

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Flies shall hear about this bowl of soup, my friend.