Wine Sampler Gifts

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'A cheeky red?'

Yoga for Alcoholics

Wine Lady

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Sauvignon Bonk

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

Try to guess the continent dining...

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Bubbly

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

French wine