Wine Economizer Gifts

"I'm looking for a wine that doesn't linger on the wallet."

The Vineyard

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"Great coffee, Carole."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Whine and cheezed party."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"And then, suddenly, it was 3 P.M., and she hadn't really got anything done."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

Portfolio, 2011

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'What have you got in the way of an imported red that has a label that doesn't look like my cat drew it?'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

"Put me through to City Stockbrokers please."

Lady on left - 'He's a man after my own heart' Lady on right - 'A cardiologist?'

'Really, Bob, the Wine Fairy?'

"You need a hobby."

"My husband makes this wine."

Liquor Store - Gift Suggestions.

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."