Wine Economizer T-Shirts

"I'm looking for a wine that doesn't linger on the wallet."

The Vineyard

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Great coffee, Carole."

"Whine and cheezed party."

"And then, suddenly, it was 3 P.M., and she hadn't really got anything done."

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

Portfolio, 2011

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

'What have you got in the way of an imported red that has a label that doesn't look like my cat drew it?'

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

"Put me through to City Stockbrokers please."

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

Lady on left - 'He's a man after my own heart' Lady on right - 'A cardiologist?'

'Really, Bob, the Wine Fairy?'

Liquor Store - Gift Suggestions.

"My husband makes this wine."

"You need a hobby."

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

'To save money, Bob started making his own wine. This Chablis, for example, only cost him $329 a bottle.'