Wine Drinking Gifts

'You know, I always buy supermarket cava rather than fancy Champagne, and I challenge anyone to tell the difference.'

"Know what we need? We need a house wine."

'True, true, true, but I'll just stick to buying wines rated 90 points, or higher.'

"I think this is a red."

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"This bottle is defective - it stopped pouring!"

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

The Wrath of Grapes

'What makes you think I don't trust you?'

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

'Just the one -the Bishop has tagged my collar I'm afraid!'

Chateau Générique.

'You said you wanted a book on how to enjoy wine. This is the only 'book' you need.'

'They say wine improves with age-the older I get the more I like it!'

'Do you have any Labernet Sauvignon?'

'Shaking out the last drops? Is that a wine thing, or a guy thing?'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

In the Guru District

"This place has the best happy hour."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

Sloaney Pony.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.