Wine Drinking Pillows

'You know, I always buy supermarket cava rather than fancy Champagne, and I challenge anyone to tell the difference.'

"Know what we need? We need a house wine."

'True, true, true, but I'll just stick to buying wines rated 90 points, or higher.'

"I think this is a red."

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"This bottle is defective - it stopped pouring!"

"Umm ... I'm allergic to milk but not cabernet."

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

"Carpe vino! Seize the wine!"

"As you requested, 'A bottle of something cheap by which to get thoroughly hammered'."

The Wrath of Grapes

'What makes you think I don't trust you?'

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

'Just the one -the Bishop has tagged my collar I'm afraid!'

Chateau Générique.

'You said you wanted a book on how to enjoy wine. This is the only 'book' you need.'

'They say wine improves with age-the older I get the more I like it!'

'Do you have any Labernet Sauvignon?'

'Shaking out the last drops? Is that a wine thing, or a guy thing?'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

In the Guru District

"This place has the best happy hour."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"