Sipping Wine Pillows

'Haven't you something a little more of an OLDER vintage?'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

Yoga for Alcoholics

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Bacchus.

Sauvignon Bonk

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Bubbly

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'