Wine Gifts

Bottle Opener Strikes A Red Wine Well

The night they invented champagne.

"They were, sitting around the dinner table, knocking off a bottle of Côtes-du-Rhône and blathering about the Middle East – you've never heard such shallow, simplistic reasoning in your life – and one of them turns to me and says, "And what do you think, Barney? What do you think we should do?' and all I could come up with was 'Woof'. I felt like such an ass."

I am ready for my wine.

"More Château de Costco?"

Preparation.

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

"I love Boxing Day"

'I need a 'parent of three teens'-size glass.'

Betty used every opportunity to exercise her pelvic floor muscles.

"In Vino Fertilization"

'It's one way to boost the numbers.'

In the Guru District

"It's a magic potion that makes everything you say interesting."

"Where's the damn bottle-opener?" "It's his day off, sir."

'Stop you fool! It has to breathe!'

"That will be perfect. We have a lot to talk about."

Happy Birthday!

Wine - "He's got your nose."

House Painting with a Twist

'If you really cared about me, you'll swim back to the boat and get my bottle of wine.'

"I hear he turned water int wine, but it was a rather poor-quality Mesopotamian Cabernet."

Turned out to be a false positive but...

"My parents will come to church again if you switch to rose."

"I, Arthur, being of sound mind, have spent it all on wine, women and song."

9-5, 5-9

"I find myself strangely attracted to you."

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

'Perfect with fish?' ... That's sick!'

"Only one a day, my dear, that's my secret." (Man has giant glass of wine).

Shakspeare a little altered. - 'He lived not wisely, but too well.'

'I think, therefore I am.' 'I don't, therefore I am not.'

"If an election were held tomorrow, which party would you vote for?" "The wine and cheese party."

'Not much of a miracle - he turned it into Blue Nun!'

"Ah, Gavin's dreaming that he's running."