Red Wine Gifts

"I think this is a red."

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'A Merlot? A Cab? If I had known there would be this many red wines, when I created the Earth, I would have made it smaller.'

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

'A cheeky red?'

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

A man holding a giant glass of wine

In the Guru District

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Bacchus.

Sauvignon Bonk

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'... And this is my cellar.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Yoga vs. Prosecco

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"He gets easily abstracted."

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'