Red Wine Romantic Gifts

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'Maybe you should let the wine you packed go to waste. That's the bag with our laundry.'

Claret

In the Guru District

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'A cheeky red?'

Sauvignon Bonk

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Bacchus.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

Yoga vs. Prosecco

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"I make it myself!"

"He gets easily abstracted."

Pasta

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."