Red Wine Romantic Gifts

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'Maybe you should let the wine you packed go to waste. That's the bag with our laundry.'

Claret

In the Guru District

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'A cheeky red?'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Bacchus.

Sauvignon Bonk

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"I make it myself!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

Pasta

"He gets easily abstracted."

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

"I only need shade for my wine."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'