Red Wine Romancer Gifts

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'A cheeky red?'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

Redhead

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"Take my hand, my love, and come with me to the cabin, where we can explore each other's naked bodies for ticks."

Red Wine

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Run from the hills!

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'Red for me, please.'

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

"Wine not?"

'Twenty-five years for buying a Chateau Beychevelle from out-of-state: On the bright side, when you get out, it'll be ready to drink.'

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

'My dad is away, so we can play...'

Claret

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

'If I wrote you a prescription for red wine, I'll bet you wouldn't complain about having to take it five times a day.'

'The accountants can wait, Tell them I'm tied up in a meeting with representatives from Pomerol Pommard,'

"Fred read red wine has lots of benefits including a longer life!"

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

'Have you got something that says, 'I've got a headache?''

"Dancing with the liquidators."

". . . when."

One more please.

"My, oh, my! What a fascinating guy you are, Vincent! But now, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like you to take my order."

'As a matter of fact, I do prefer red wine to white. How did you ever guess?'