Red Wine Reveler Gifts

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

One more please.

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

'A cheeky red?'

Theorbo

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Joust Sharpener

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"I say we move on to dessert."

The New Year's Dance

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

"Another round?"

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

'Red for me, please.'

Looks like the Oggs are having a party.'

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

Vitruvian Manatee

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

Galileo drops ball from Pisa and it goes up.

"Wine not?"

"I don't know about you Mavis but I'm Mullered."

Christmas with Cats

'Twenty-five years for buying a Chateau Beychevelle from out-of-state: On the bright side, when you get out, it'll be ready to drink.'

"Woulda looked cool with a beer in his hand, though." Michelangelo's cousin, Michelobelo

You ARE entitled to return a meal...But NOT after you've eaten it!!

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

My own museum.

Looks like you put too much dosie in that doe, Earl.

'One second - wo seconds - three seconds - four seconds -one hour...'

"Fresh sprinkles for your ice cream?"

Happy Hour at Harry's