Relic Reveler Gifts

My own museum.

Theorbo

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Joust Sharpener

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"I say we move on to dessert."

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

"Another round?"

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

Looks like the Oggs are having a party.'

Vitruvian Manatee

Nuclear Fusion Reactor - Our Founder.

The Quantum Mechanic...

Galileo drops ball from Pisa and it goes up.

Christmas with Cats

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

Looks like you put too much dosie in that doe, Earl.

"Hey! Your phone isn't turned on."

'One second - wo seconds - three seconds - four seconds -one hour...'

Noel Fever

Happy Hour at Harry's

'I'm writing a poem -- what rhymes with 'hegemony'?'

"Let's be realistic. Are we all going to try to keep this party afloat, or should we just go home and forget it?"

Early Photobomb

Speleologist

'Wee Orlando just tagged his first bus shelter.' 'That's ma boy.'

"But mother, it's really just a nice family speakeasy."

'My next song is about a singer who should get into another line of work.'

Crumhorn

"Genuine? Of course it's genuine...zirconia."

No Smoking in the Castle

"You remind me of why I found the eighties wanting."

"Did you like Ike and all that?"