Wine And Beer Gifts

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'A cheeky red?'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Wine Lady

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Sauvignon Bonk

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Bacchus.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'... And this is my cellar.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

French wine

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.