Wine And Food Gifts

"The fifth wine has bright apple and pear notes, with just the barest hint of a blinding headache."

In the Guru District

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'A cheeky red?'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Sauvignon Bonk

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Bacchus.

'... And this is my cellar.'

Bad for you but to die for

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Yoga vs. Prosecco

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"I make it myself!"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'Man...You age great!'

"He gets easily abstracted."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Welcome to the moon cafe and gift shop...