Food And Drink Gifts

The Holy Trinity: Salt, Butter and Sugar.

"I'm getting woolly-mammoth notes."

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

'Remember, the real lemon goes into the floor cleaner and the artificial lemon goes into the lemonade.'

'Actually, my name is Bobby. 'Jimmy's Lemonade' is an international franchise.'

Wine taster getting drunk

Will pull fire alarm so you can ditch your online date.

"And what are you planning to pair with this wine?"

'Close enough, the one on your right is the red. Congratulation! You're our new wine critic.'

Bad for you but to die for

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

"I'm just trying to keep the business going until I can get my liquor license."

'Personally, I've always liked Bordeaux with my Swiss.'

"I let George order our shopping over the internet today."

"Simple rule of thumb; if it tries to eat us, serve with red. If it runs away from us, a white."

Does this chocolate taste a bit cheesy to you

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

'This is the worst wine I've ever tasted--I'll take 20 cases.'

'...I got something in my rye.'

Prosecco and Pudding

All Day Deals!

"Before we can open it we need Mom's PIN number."

Fixing Krispy Kreme.

Grills Gone Wild.

"The person we're trying to poison—does he have any dietary restrictions?"

"Barkeeper! More chick-peas!"

Sarracuda

"Tell me I didn't marry a brine snob."

'Thank you for picking me as your ATM machine...but before I dispense your money, here's a word from Ed's Bar & Grill...'

Chocolate cake

Champagne speaking to lobster about going to the Derby

Market. Cheeses. Trouble in the case, Ernie? Yeah, four of the cheeses are disliked by the others. The bleu cheese is always depressed and ruins any fun they try to have. The limburger is condescending - it thinks "sharpest" means "smartest." The low-fat cheese won't stop bragging about being the most fit and attractive. And there's a problem with the Swiss too? Yeah, it has a holier-than-thou attitude.

"You work here. You know the menu intimately. I'm sure you've tried it all, so your opinion is very important."