Food And Drink T-Shirts

The Holy Trinity: Salt, Butter and Sugar.

"I'm getting woolly-mammoth notes."

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

'Remember, the real lemon goes into the floor cleaner and the artificial lemon goes into the lemonade.'

'Actually, my name is Bobby. 'Jimmy's Lemonade' is an international franchise.'

Bad for you but to die for

'Close enough, the one on your right is the red. Congratulation! You're our new wine critic.'

Wine taster getting drunk

"And what are you planning to pair with this wine?"

'Personally, I've always liked Bordeaux with my Swiss.'

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

"Before we can open it we need Mom's PIN number."

'...I got something in my rye.'

"I'm just trying to keep the business going until I can get my liquor license."

All Day Deals!

"I let George order our shopping over the internet today."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

'This is the worst wine I've ever tasted--I'll take 20 cases.'

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

Fixing Krispy Kreme.

Prosecco and Pudding

"Table number five have just eaten their table decoration!"

"The person we're trying to poison—does he have any dietary restrictions?"

"Barkeeper! More chick-peas!"

The Lesser Pyramids

"Pumpkin season is over. Eggnog season is over. Now it's ham hock season."

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

"Tell me I didn't marry a brine snob."

Artisanal Milk

TASTES LIKE... Bob's Buffalo Chicken

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

"Pipe sludge or overpriced sparkling?"

"I'm afraid you've stimulated the economy enough now, sir."