Food And Beverage Gifts

'Our small drink is medium, our medium is large, and our large is illegal.'

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

Anton's Bar and Grill

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Me, I'd pair ketchup with a box of red, but I'd pair mustard with a box of white. Hot dogs.

Waiter watering down wine

'I don't think we have to worry about anyone stealing our St. Joseph's-bread wine glass idea.'

'Man...You age great!'

'I guess you're right again; wine and eggs do go together.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Counting ribs

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Any time is cake o'clock

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

What the Doctor Ordered

Ice Cream Surgeon

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'