Wine Appreciation Gifts

Advanced course at the Wine Appreciation Institute in my house.

Wine tasters nose and wine glass become one and the same

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'Close enough, the one on your right is the red. Congratulation! You're our new wine critic.'

"I don't remember the name, but it had a taste that I liked."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'Do I detect an inner grape struggling to get out?'

'I quite the wine class after 5 minutes. The instructor started by saying that wine a liquid, but it's dry.'

Welcome to my cellar!

'It's very 'woody'...'

'And, as you taste the wine, various sensations are recorded and transmitted to your brain for later befuddlement.'

Red Wine

Two champagne bottles fight in a headlock

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

'Hit it with a ship, like they do on telly.'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'On the contrary, your glass is half full.'

"Actually, we don't sell much Viognier, but the guy who sells me Viognier? -- that guy sells a lot of Viognier."

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"If it's all the same to you, I'll wait for a Merlot and she'll have Sauterne."

"Would you like an ice bucket with your Champagne?"

"I always gulp my wine - it evaporates, you know."

"Amusing bouquet, without being hilarious."

A man polishes a giant wine bottle.

The private view

Wino Appreciation Group

"I trust you've fully experienced the bouquet?"

'I, too, like to savor the taste of a fine wine. But it's taken you over 20 minutes to finish that glass.'

"Your description of the wine's bouquet was elegant, but are you sure that's not my feet?"

Pasta

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

"Fruity nose, hints of wild cherry, soothing on the palate, goes well with cough and cold."

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"Teaching him to use a knife and fork was easy but he still can't tell a Merlot from a Chianti!"

'I'd like to sample your house wine...Hmm, do you have something that stains a little better?'