Wine Appreciation Course Gifts

'I see we'll be sampling the wines of New Jersey this evening.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

Wine Lady

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Sauvignon Bonk

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Bacchus.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Bubbly

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.