Wine Instructor Gifts

'You! You in the back! How do you expect to enjoy wine, if you don't extend that pinkie!'

'I quite the wine class after 5 minutes. The instructor started by saying that wine a liquid, but it's dry.'

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Sauvignon Bonk

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Bacchus.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

'Man...You age great!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"I think it stopped breathing."