Wine Instructor Pillows

'You! You in the back! How do you expect to enjoy wine, if you don't extend that pinkie!'

'I quite the wine class after 5 minutes. The instructor started by saying that wine a liquid, but it's dry.'

Wine tasting class. We judge champagne differently than we do other wines. Ah, a bubble standard!

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Sauvignon Bonk

Bacchus.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."