Wine Teacher Pillows

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'A cheeky red?'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Sauvignon Bonk

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Bacchus.

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

'Man...You age great!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"I think it stopped breathing."