Wine Educator Pillows

'I nearly made it through culinary school selling wine books - then their library caught on.'

'I failed my wine appreciation class. I swirled, sniffed and spilled out every sample perfectly. If only I had remembered to taste them.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

Sauvignon Bonk

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Bacchus.

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'