Wines Gifts

"Are you really sure we're supposed to give points for sound?"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"You could be just the man we're looking for!"

-A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"I don't know about you Mavis but I'm Mullered."

"That's no oil, it's my bottle of 1988 Chateau Petrus I spilled while checking your brake lines. That's gonna cost ya!"

"As you requested, 'A bottle of something cheap by which to get thoroughly hammered'."

Thanks for raisin me right.

"How did Pino and Bette Noir get on the invitation list? She's a beast and all he does is whine."

'I'm seizing the day.'

'This is some good stuff you 'knocked-off'... where did you say you acquired it?'

'Let me guess: This is your new rapid method of aerating the wine.'

'You ordered the house wine, sir.'

'Price at the pumps.' 'Glass of wine then?'

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

Wine Tasting Club

"A glass of the '96 Chateau Roumand for my husband, and I'll have a can of your finest 10W-40."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"I like a buttery chardonnay with hints of happier times, romance and optimism."

"We have records of all the bad wine you bring to dinner parties."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

The Vineyard

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'A cheeky red?'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'