Wine Detective T-Shirts

'Don't tell me, I know this one. Is it wine?'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'A cheeky red?'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Bacchus.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Sauvignon Bonk

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Try to guess the continent dining...

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'Man...You age great!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"I think it stopped breathing."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

"He gets easily abstracted."