Wine Buff Pillows

Next time, make sure everyone knows what an oenophile is, before you go around introducing yourelf as one.'

"Waiter, this wine is corked!"

"I detect notes of black cherry with a definite undercurrent of poorly washed dishes."

'Don't just gulp it down like that! Smell the bouquet, savour the flavour on your palate!'

'All he talked about over dinner was wine. How can a person not bring up the subject of shoes even once?'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Yoga for Alcoholics

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Sauvignon Bonk

Bacchus.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"